Happy September, friends! And hello! My summer blog hiatus is coming to a close. Between house renovations, wedding planning, going back to work full time, and launching my book, it’s been a bit of a crazy time. Not too crazy for God though. He always has a way of bringing me back to that the much-needed stillness, revealing my purpose in all that’s unfolded in this life of mine. And I thank you all for that. It is your raw stories and bold courage to reach out that humbly reminds me where I have been and how to show you the hope in it all.
Book launch, yes you read that right! You guys! It’s unreal that this book will be released NEXT MONTH. Mark your calendars for October 17th, which is also the one year mark of Her Soul Repair. So much to celebrate! I have three more teasers to share on the blog before you can read the book cover to cover. This next one is on triggers. Emotional ones, silly ones, physical ones … There’s just nothing easy or fun about them. Read on to see how I dealt.
- Bang, Bang
“…One step forward, two steps back. Damn you stupid triggers, leave me alone. Triggers of your former life can make your current life hard. They can take ecstatic joy and turn it into the real ugly kind of crying. They are the reality of letting go of anyone significant in your life. And they come when you least expect it. The best way I found to handle them was to experience the pain they bring and then redirect. Pick up the phone and call a friend who will make you belly laugh. Or text a friend to tell them what a piece of shit your ex is. Or exercise! Get that hot bod you’ve always wanted. Grab a cocktail with your girlfriends. Take a nice long walk somewhere beautiful. Do whatever will pick you up. Riding the emotional roller coaster in Triggerland gets exhausting. Take the fast pass on the ride and then run for the emergency exit.
For me, triggers came from just about everywhere. When BD came home, we bought him a white Ranger, the same model of truck that he had when we first met. We were trying to be cute and go back in time. A sweet little plea to start our lives over together and go back to where it all started. At the time, I loved the idea and thought it was adorable. However, when trying to heal and move forward, it was much less adorable. White Rangers were following me. On every highway. In every parking lot. At every stoplight. They were out to get me. Until of course, BD bought the homewrecker a gray Mazda. It was then that the white Rangers backed off, and the gray Mazdas planned their sneaky attack …
As time goes on, certain triggers, once shot through your heart can actually be humorous. Two trigger stories during our divorce come to mind when reflecting upon the progress I had made.
When BD moved out, he took some of our dinner plates. These plates were wedding presents, ones we chose together while we were engaged. I found it odd that he’d want our wedding presents christening his new studio apartment he shared with the homewrecker. One day he came over and told me he had just bought some new plates, so he wanted to bring ours back. As he started, filing them back into my kitchen, I stopped and asked, “Who exactly has eaten off of these (knowing full well, the homewrecker had dined with them)?” His face said it all. The next day I took the complete set of Crate & Barrel plates to The Good Will. I imagine they were bought by someone who felt that they had hit the dinnerware jackpot and now reside in a wonderful kitchen. This experience was a good mark of growth. Had this happened earlier on, those plates would have most likely been Frisbees chucked at BD’s head. No Frisbee toss was had, simply a pay it forward donation. Deep breath and keep going.
Final Destination: Hell (too much?). I always had a great time daydreaming about hilarious happenings I wished upon BD and the other woman. During our divorce, they went on a little vacation together. So romantic, right? I thought about sending a list of prayer requests to all of the local churches. Attention all prayer warriors! My adulterer of a husband is currently on vacation with the woman who took part in destroying my marriage. My prayer requests include: the runs (for one or both of them), bed bugs wherever they lie together, declined credit cards at all bars and restaurants they attend, irritating (but not fatal) car problems. This always brought a smile to my face. The tricky part is you have to know when the hilarity is taking up too much space in your mind. There’s a definite balance to the laugh and release! When you can joke about such things (even in a half kidding fashion), it’s sign of progress … “